Saturday, January 25, 2014

winter fun: a tale of two feet

ok, i'm not sure where to start this post so i'll just go ahead and tell you that i have big feet. and the left one is bigger than the right. and if i'm not going crazy, i think they're still growing. i know, very weird. so now a bigger size usually fits the bigger foot in length, but they are way too wide. my feet are swimming.

i'm long and narrow. negative curves so there's just no balance. when i walk into a room, i really walk into a room. shoes a clunking. big ol' shoes. no matter how cute a shoe is, it is just not cute anymore in a large size. see for yourself. it's just so sad. why didn't my mother bind my feet?! (totally kidding. i read what that was like. not even funny kelli.)

in high school i just had to wear this outift that i thought made me look oh so fashionable and sophisticated. problem was, i didn't have the right shoes. my friend up the street did, but she was barely 5 foot and could still wear a kid's shoe. so what did i do? suffered eight hours of torture in her tiny heeled boots, carrying around a big ol' bag of heavy textbooks better yet. i'm surprised i didn't tip over. would i do it again? you bet your ass i would. that outfit was classy!=)

ha, no really, i wish i didn't treat my feet that way. i wish i could say that was the only time i did that. but i always wore shoes a little snug. the smaller the cuter. it was normal for my feet to feel pinched and sore at the end of the day. very sad, i know. what was that saying...pain is beauty...?

but, ladies and gentleman, nation, i am here to say here and now, on and for the record, on this cold and snowy 25th day of january, that i am hereby and henceforth...setting my footsies free!

and that is why you may see me around town wearing a big ol' pair of totes boots with a tag on the tongue that reads: winter fun. yes, my boots have a message for you.

don't think i don't know how silly they are. john actually picked them out for me because he was tired of me complaining that i just wanted a good comfy boot!

"here, try these on."

"they're totes. don't they make umbrellas?"

"just try them on. they're a good solid shoe."

"ohhh, these feel niceee. but they say winter fun!"

"who cares. no one'll see that."

yeah, no one will notice my big ginormous boots with the snowflake on the tongue. and words. on my boot tongue.

but i love them. they're soft. they keep my feet warm. and they keep me from breaking my neck. 

and after he watched me trekking in the snowy icy parking lot to return my overdue library books, he said to me, now aren't you glad you bought those boots? why yes, john, actually i am. but i still wish they didn't say winter fun.

what do you mean? john said with a chuckle. those boots are you! that's like the title of one of your blog posts! (no john, actually that one was called snow fun. like so fun. or no fun. get it?)

and then it hit me like a snowball right in the face.

i am someone who would wear the words winter fun on my boots.

and i would call a post winter fun.

and there you have it.

snow what?=)


  1. Haha, love you both & your infectious soh Kelli!


  2. why didn't you post a pic????
    you are so funny!!
    peace & raw health,

    1. my mom said the same thing. it's bad enough...=)

      thank you!=)

  3. Hey, nothing wrong with big feet! And...I'm 5'10". Variety is the spice, right?

  4. you're feet are not that big!!! you're a tall you needed bigger feet anyway!


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