Tuesday, February 7, 2012

reflecting on my saturn return

most of us have heard of a mid-life crisis, but how many know of the age-thirty transition?

the age-thirty transition corresponds with the saturn return, an astrological pattern in which saturn returns to the same position it was when you were born. this happens around age 27-30 (and again 57-60). astrologically speaking, it's when we truly enter adulthood.

(interestingly, gwen stefani was about 30 when no doubt released their album "return of saturn".)

anyway, i didn't know about this saturn return until i was in the midst of it. i told a friend in so many words how it felt like my world was changing and i was becoming a new person and she said nonchalantly, "oh, it's your saturn return." my what?

the saturn return is a time of great reflection, transition and emotional upheaval. many will start to question the path they are on and seek answers to other deep questions. some will reprioritize and make drastic changes. it's an exciting time, but anyone who's asked themselves the big questions and made big changes knows it can also be quite scary.

Saturn often asks us “Whose movie am I in?” and then challenges us to be the director and author. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we could just read our lines in the screenplay and have the ghost of “Christmas Future” come to us to show us the way? Instead, we are called to become our own “author-ity”---to truly become the author of our life. - saturn return

i wish i would have journaled more during those years, but i think i was so fearful of my thoughts i didn't want to write them down. thank goodness john was sort of going through the same thing (he's less than two months older than me) because i had someone to talk to. it was hard to talk to others at the time without coming off as a little whacky. if you notice, most people want to keep the convo light, talk about facebook and tv shows, not who we are and why we are here. *snort*

it's hard to put into words how i changed and what changed really. others with similar experiences call it becoming conscious or waking up, though those terms are used loosely now and i'm not sure if we even have words to describe it. i can say my perception of life changed - i felt more, questioned more, let go more, loved more, struggled more, lived more, and learned to fear less.

outwardly, i chopped off my hair. i took my life back and retired from the rat race at the age of 28 (and now spend my days doing what i consider to be fulfulling). i started caring more about what i put in and on my body and less about what other people thought of me. i began on the journey to self-sufficiency, learning to grow and store my own food, insuring my own health and wellness. ultimately, i became more responsible for my self. i guess that's what becoming an adult is.

i'll be 31 on saturday. 'til next time, saturn.=)

photo sources one // two


  1. Interesting. But, well, here's the thing. It's a thing I discovered long after college and the ages of 30 and 40 and 50. It is that we constantly change and if we deny that change we will begin to "act out" and that is never a good thing. As we age we develop experiences that are actually vehicles for learning. Usually, we pay far too little attention to what is really going on in our lives. That always comes back to haunt us. Well, it did me, anyway. Ha.

    But good for you---you seem to be on top of things. You are far more mature than I was at 30.

  2. I think I have a Jupiter thing going on this year as I am going to turn 40 this year. Yikes!! But have a happy, happy Birthday this weekend :)

    1. hehe thanks jane! i'm sure you'll be fine.=)

  3. happy early b-day, and you know you have someone who likes to talk about why we're here...i'm just an email away....and shallow conversations disgust me ;)

  4. Happy early bday!

    When you posted about this on my blog, I googled and laughed... Right before I read about it, I bought "A Purpose Given Life" and another book by Deepak Chopra! Lol! Seems this is happening to me! Hubby just turned 30, in those years, his parents got divorced, we bought a house and had a baby! Yowza, I wonder what is in store for me!

    P.s. Yay for Aquarians!

  5. Ha! Happy early birthday!!!

    I have to say, 29 kicked my ass and cracked me wide open. My 30s have been wonderful, but apparently I first had to finish off my 20s with quite a shake up ;-)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...