some thoughts...

this week was trying. i babysat. it was rainy, humid and gloomy (with spurts of sun). we lounged around and the kids wanted to watch a horrible little show called fairly oddparents repeatedly. (though i had to laugh when jay leno's superhero character said, "i put the man in mandible!"=).

at least this week the ruby gloom theme song didn't torture my brain.

i'd rather they not watch tv at all so we craft, paint, and play games, but with 1-6 year olds, that doesn't last more than 20 minutes. (yes, the one-year old paints. beautifully.) so what do you do with the other 500 minutes? lots and lots of thumb wrestling, tickle tirades and staring contests.=)

i had to practically carry them outdoors to play in the sprinkler (mrs. wiggles), where we stumbled upon another animal their cat oscar got a hold of.=( i kind of feel responsible because oscar started getting out on my watch. but what do you do when an animal is begging to be let outside?

we're dealing with it with kati. we let her out once to see if she'd stay with us, but she strayed. we've tried a harness from a local pet store and it fit terribly. she did ok with it and even walked with me around the block the first time it was on, but you could tell she felt uncomfortable.

so now we're waiting for a jacket type of harness to arrive in the mail. we think she'll do better with that, and we're hoping if we walk her and play with her enough, the urge to go outside and kill animals won't be so strong.

this week was supposed to be the week i eat healthier. yeah right. though i did sprout some alfalfa and make raw nut tuna and nori snacks. gotta focus on the positive.=)

so i think i'm starting to feel a smidge of how stay-at-home mom's feel. i can't explain it, but it's just a draining feeling. children, though adorable, sweet bundles of joy, can really suck the life out of you! they can't help it, but sometimes it's just too much for one adult to handle all day alone. especially when you're watching five at a time.

i think villages where mothers all sit around and breast-feed and help out with each other's chidren really have the right idea. those children may not have nice sneakers and nintendo games, but i bet they feel rich with love from their mommies.

what the heck are we rushing for in our society anyway? the finish line? which is what - retirement? death? i do not do well on a go-go-go schedule. i need time to breathe it all in. i'm not talking holidays or vacations. i just want regular days at home where i do laundry, play in the garden, and contemplate the meaning of it all. is that too much to ask?=)

for those who say "you have to work", oh, know that i sure do work. i despise cleaning, so that's hard work, and gardening is no joke. i work on my health, my relationships, and keeping my cat happy and healthy, and most tryingly, i work on my bitchy miserable self (the side of kelli i try my best to shelter you from, poor john knows her best these days) and that takes more energy than anything! whose to say paid work is more important? how did we ever fall victim to that mentality?

this weekend i will rest. and clean. and play with kati. sunday is the american vegan society's garden party. i'll be volunteering in the bookroom. come and visit if you're in the area!

i want to sincerely thank you for reading my ramblings. it's nice to connect with people from all over the globe. makes my world feel sweet and cozy.=)

have a wonderful weekend! the sun's starting to come out. i hope it shines on you as well!=)